Changes made from the last version: some shots have been removed and I have changed the end of the train scene. Instead of the camera pulling out of the train carriage away from Doris, wiping past and lowering to the bridge arch fading into the church window, I've done a wipe cut like in Jaws to cut to the separation scene.
Next steps are to act out and film my animation references to further discover my film.
Hey Paris - okay - so my thoughts are these: the wipe cut will work, but right now it's not long enough to again understand what is happening: so the camera moves away from the window a bit and we see the windows of the train carriage pass by for maybe 3 seconds before you transition into the next shot.
ReplyDeleteThe door-knocking montage - I think every shot needs be held for at least one second or so longer - we need more time to register all the new details and we may need time to hear what people are saying to her - and you'll need time to show her reactions. It won't 'slow down' your film, because the montage will anyway speed up the passing of time, but give yourself more time with each shot - you can always trim it later, but I'd encourage you to open out those shots to give more time to her performance in these shots.
Another tip: at the moment you are using cross-dissolves in the montage where the boy is being abused: I think this will all feel more powerful if you just use hard edits between the shots instead - cross-dissolves lend poetry and softness to an edit - I think the more staccato feel of hard edits will suit this moment more; just let each new shot follow the next. I think it will improve things still further.
The shot of of the two characters in front of the cottage is too short to properly register what is going on. Hold it for a second more - again - you can always do your final trim in the editing room when you've got your renders - putting more frames back in I think is more complex and open to trouble :)
Thanks Phil :)
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